I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
