Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
