I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
