They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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