I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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