I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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