i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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