You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
