they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize