I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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