who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
