yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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