Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
