She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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