ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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