Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
