I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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