this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
