Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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