What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
honey bunches of taint.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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