I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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