Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
vagina is talking i cant
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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