and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
