That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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