john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
