a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
