He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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