pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
