no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
false alarm. still invincible.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
