I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
