I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
