Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
