there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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