lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
