....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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