he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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