508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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