I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize