its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
