i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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