chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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