There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Found your dick twin last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
