I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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