God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
