I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
