What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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