vagina is talking i cant
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize