A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
