did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im about as happy as oj after his trial
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
