Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
