He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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