watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
