Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
