Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
