I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
