I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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