his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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