im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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