Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
its liver damage thursday
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
