Buhtt sex?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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