Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My life is pants optional.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
