omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
