I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
