I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
