Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
