Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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