I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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