The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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