your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
