were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
