so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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