Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize