he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
